The title alone had me interested from the very first. The intersection of neuroscience and human relationships is much written and talked about these days, as we learn about just how much our daily activities, thoughts, and behaviors are ruled by this part of ourselves.
Dr. Henslin uses strong credentials and experience to help us understand how the brain functions, what that means in terms of behavior and emotions, and most importantly, about the five basic types of lovers which may exist in a marriage or relationship. Those five types include The Scattered Lover, The Overfocused Lover, The Blue Mood Lover, The Agitated Lover, and The Anxious Lover.
Dr. Henslin provides both the technical background for the parts of our brains which create each of these archetypes and some very readable vignettes and examples to show us how a particular type might sound like and act. With an emphasis on brain chemistry and a number of connections drawn to conditions such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this book is potent, if challenging, for most lay readers. The blend of fact and intuition is ultimately very helpful to those who want to understand why we do what we do . . . and what we can do about all that.
I describe this book as challenging for two reasons. First, Dr. Henslin’s focus on neuroscience and the actual workings of the brain during psychological and physical changes can be a tad difficult to follow at times. As we attempt to map the brain’s primary sections and determine their specific function, we should not be surprised that all answers are not forthcoming. For those who do not care to know the details of brain chemistry interactions, this book will have many sections to scan or skip completely.
Where almost everyone can gain some value is in the descriptions of the various behaviors that typify each of the five Lover types. The descriptions, while somewhat clinical, are also laced with humorous stories, often from the Doctor’s personal experiences, which lighten the scientific information to put a very human and very familiar face on how all the brain interaction displays to one’s spouse or partner, the families, and to the world.
Each section has two “rules lists” comprised of guidelines and suggestions for both us as a particular type of lover and for us as the partner of someone exhibiting a particular lover type. These thorough and specific suggestions aim to help use deal with and reduce the negative impacts of each style. I could see this becoming an important aspect of every married couples ongoing discussions around “how we make this work”.Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
