Book Review: "This is Your Brain in Love" by Dr. Earl Henslin

Title:  This is Your Brain in Love by Dr. Earl Henslin

The title alone had me interested from the very first.  The intersection of neuroscience and human relationships is much written and talked about these days, as we learn about just how much our daily activities, thoughts, and behaviors are ruled by this part of ourselves.

Dr. Henslin uses strong credentials and experience to help us understand how the brain functions, what that means in terms of behavior and emotions, and most importantly, about the five basic types of lovers which may exist in a marriage or relationship.  Those five types include The Scattered Lover, The Overfocused Lover, The Blue Mood Lover, The Agitated Lover, and The Anxious Lover. 

Dr. Henslin provides both the technical background for the parts of our brains which create each of these archetypes and some very readable vignettes and examples to show us how a particular type might sound like and act.   With an emphasis on brain chemistry and a number of connections drawn to conditions such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this book is potent, if challenging, for most lay readers.  The blend of fact and intuition is ultimately very helpful to those who want to understand why we do what we do . . .  and what we can do about all that.

I describe this book as challenging for two reasons.  First, Dr. Henslin’s focus on neuroscience and the actual workings of the brain during psychological and physical changes can be a tad difficult to follow at times.  As we attempt to map the brain’s primary sections and determine their specific function, we should not be surprised that all answers are not forthcoming.  For  those who do not care to know the details of brain chemistry interactions, this book will have many sections to scan or skip completely.

Where almost everyone can gain some value is in the descriptions of the various behaviors that typify each of the five Lover types.  The descriptions, while somewhat clinical, are also laced with humorous stories, often from the Doctor’s personal experiences, which lighten the scientific information to put a very human and very familiar face on how all the brain interaction displays to one’s spouse or partner, the families, and to the world.

Each section has two “rules lists” comprised of guidelines and suggestions for both us as a particular type of lover and for us as the partner of someone exhibiting a particular lover type.  These thorough and specific suggestions aim to help use deal with and reduce the negative impacts of each style.  I could see this becoming an important aspect of every married couples ongoing discussions around “how we make this work”.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com  book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review: "The Sweet By and By" by Sara Evans with Rachel Hauck

“The sins of the father”, or in this case the mother, is the theme of this surprisingly entertaining and thoughtful story of choices, lifestyles, communication, trust, and faith. Beryl is the aging hippie who is just beginning to lament the quality and the quantity of her husbands over the years, her decidedly off-hand parenting style, and the effect on her three grown (mostly) children: Aidan, confident and self-assured; Jade, nervous and needy; and Willow, young and superficially strong. As Jade alternatively approaches and withdraws from her impending wedding to Max, and the resulting new interdependence on his family and their friends, a tentative and uncomfortable reunion occurs between mother and children. Physical proximity does not mend years of neglect and disconnection and even routine encounters are fraught with angst and emotion.

And that’s just the first few chapters.

I found myself drawn into the world of Beryl Hill and her children, Granny, Lincoln, and other friends and lovers, and the residents of Whispering Hollow, Tennessee, where much of the action occurs. The primary setting is definitely contemporary, with frequent references to cell phones, e-mail, and the Internet, but the story is much older and often travels back decades to create a full and powerful chronology. As a Baby Boomer and a parent of grown children, I relate most easily to Beryl, who often grapples with the question of how she has arrived at this challenging and uncomfortable point in her life. Jade, who has long ago learned not to count on her mother, now finds that much of her is tied up with her mother and who she is.

I did not set out to enjoy this book, but I found the story of faith, forgiveness, and redemption to be a strong one. Sara Evans is a musician by trade and the lyrical nature of her prose and imagery reflects that ability to talk in almost poetic terms about everyday things. The large number of other characters lends strong support, and their interactions and relationships with each other and with the main characters make this a much richer story for a wide range of readers. A study guide at the end provides some helpful questions to stimulate discussion. While this is not a “preachy” book, it definitely conveys a message about how we love one another and how to navigate those difficult waters we call life.

I am a member of Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program: http://brb.thomasnelson.com/

Book Review: "Same Kind of Different As Me"

“Same Kind of Different As Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vince

This book can perhaps be described as a morality play with four main characters: Ron, the well-to-do art collector; Deborah, Ron's wife and the angel on earth who is dying; Denver, the homeless man with a shady past whom Ron and Deborah befriend; and God as he appears to and through each of these characters.

The narrative style isengaging, as we move back and forth between the perspectives of these two very different men struggling with a common tragedy and dealing with a loss in dramatically different ways. While Ron goes from “arm’s length altruism” to true giving in the course of the story, he continues asking God to give his wife the miracle of new life almost to the end.  Denver, in his simple and direct faith-based way, does Herculean duty as he literally “prays without ceasing” for God’s guidance and will.

This dichotomy between “Give Me Prayer” and “Tell Me Prayer” is one of the messages at the heart of this well-written and often humorous book. We learn that relationships, whether with others here on earth or with God, are often long and difficult in the growing. I found it especially fascinating to watch the transformation of Denver from the one being ministered to into the one ministering to others as the story moves forward.

This is an inspiring and engaging work and one which I can wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who wants to read an account of how God works through people to create love and benevolence here on earth.